I’ve always been interested in psychoanalysis, but I do take every theory with a grain of salt. Except from time to time, I feel like Freud is laughing at a corner and telling me: I told you so!
Blake turned 4 this June and he is maturing rapidly. He recently started to take an interest in the opposite sex, especially the ones that were like 6, 7 years of age. A few weeks ago, he was playing at our neighborhood playground, there were some other kids there. He stopped all of sudden, and said: “Mom, I like that peachy haired girl. She is so pretty!”. That afternoon, he kept on saying how he will grow up and marry a ‘peachy haired’ girl and have 5 kids together.
Besides the usually double take when he sees a particularly pretty girl, he also would point out someone ‘he likes’ from my Fashion magazines. The most recent was Katy Perry’s Vogue spread. None of this would’ve gotten his attention a year ago.
I think my pregnancy has also brought the awareness of a ‘family structure’ to him. Kids always think what they know is the norm: mom and dad, and one or more kids. I do tell him that not every family has a mom and dad, and now he tells me matter-of-factly: “Some kids have two dads!” 🙂
Recently, he likes to play the ‘pretend family’ game. Every evening he comes home from daycare, he wants to play the game with me. He pretends to marry me, then he becomes the daddy, and we have a dozen kids who are his favourite plush toys. He either gives me a different name (usually Charlotte), or himself a different name (usually Jake) or he pretends to be Ethan (my husband). He would go through a wedding, down to the details of the party (usually involves his favourite friends attending, and maybe one or two super heroes) and the colour of my dress (usually has blue in it, which is his favourite, not mine). When asked what he will wear, he simply looks at the wedding pictures hung on the wall, and describes daddy’s outfit.
The really great thing was that he always pretended that we had many kids and he always made a point that he would take care of them. Not once he would be ‘irresponsible’. He talked about the details of how he would take care of them, such as feeding, bathing and taking them to museums and teaching them the alphabet. I am very happy to see that this sense of responsibility is already ingrained in his little brain.
Hence for a while now, every night, Blake pretends to marry his mommy. Although I know this is because I am the only female in this family, I can still see the smirk on the old Freud’s face!
I wonder how I’d feel if and when I attend Blake’s wedding. Maybe I’d get really emotional when I think about him saying to me softly last night when I put him to bed: “Mom, you look so pretty with your hair and dress (a pink maternity PJ) even with this big belly!”
Maybe Freud was right!