Moments like this

My 16 months old daughter has always been a poor night sleeper. I have had some really cranky moments since I haven’t slept through the night for 2 years (yes, it started when she was still in my belly!). This only gets exacerbated when she catches a cold, which is happening all the time now because of the winter/daycare combination.

We placed a rocking chair next to her crib and there were countless nights Ethan or I sat there rocking her for long periods of time; we took turns so we both could get some sleep.

This past weekend, she caught a bad cold with a fever and the rocking chair had once again become our default sleeping spot. Last night, after woken up by her crying during my deepest sleep, I got up, prepared a bottle, picked her up and sat rocking in the dark while my brain was wishing to go back to bed and finish that dream.

As she finished the bottle and seemed to calm down, I wiped her snots, felt her head to make sure the fever wasn’t coming back, I lay her down in her crib and started walking toward my bed. That’s when she started shrieking, so loud I worried she’d wake up her brother. I came back and put my hand on her back and she immediately stopped crying. I tried to walk away again, and the same thing happened again.

By this time, I had already forgotten the theme of my unfinished dream, my eyes adjusted and I could see the moonlight filtered through the blinds. There was only one thing left to do: I sat on that rocking chair next to her crib, one hand placed on her back.

She seemed to sense that I sat down – she turned around and looked at me. I saw a sense of relief in her eyes. I slouched into the chair thinking it was going to be a long night here, and just then, she gently grabbed my hand, separated my fingers to make sure I held her tiny hand and looked at me as if to say: mom, I really need you right now, stay with me…

I looked back and my heart suddenly felt full. I held her hand and gently stroked the back of her palm. She turned to the other side, getting ready to sleep, then she turned back again. Still holding my hand, she looked into my eyes and smiled. I smiled back reassuring her. Just like that, in a second, she fell into a deep sleep, breathing heavily and had let go of my hand.

You know the moments in life you feel like you are doing exactly what you are meant to do? That you are living your purpose and all the hard work is worth it? This was one of those moments for me! As I watched her angelic face in sound sleep, I sat in that rocking chair for a while longer – I didn’t care to finish that silly dream of mine anyway…

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My Week in Instagram

When Nadege opened in the Path before Christmas, I was happy how convenient it would be to get special dessert and gifts. Now the Holidays are over and I have new fitness goals to reach, I just realized how much more I have to fight the temptations.

The Temptations…

When I saw these: I had to give in. I stood no chance! I had to have them! And they are that good!

Chocolate something crunch, hazelnut something mousse

Chocolate something crunch, hazelnut something mousse

It is hard to wind down the holiday eating habits, not to mention the deep freeze we are in these days. A morning trip to SJCB is totally granted right?

Chocolate Almond Croissant

Chocolate Almond Croissant

 

Scarlett got sick this past weekend and I had to stay home with her on Monday. Took her out for a stroller walk but she cried so hard we didn’t make it far from the house. After we got home and I took the crying, sick baby out of the stroller, she was all happy. It turned out she just really wanted to experience walking in snow herself, fever and all…

What is it like to walk in snow?

What is it like to walk in snow?

My Pink Marshmello

My Pink Marshmallow

 

Everyday when we rushed to pick up Blake, it was already dark. I took a shot from our car when we got to school one day and it was like 5:15pm! The day is too short but I have to say, it has its own beauty.

Dusk

Dusk

Lastly, a picture of my nails with this nail polish: My Silk Tie – OPI Fifty Shades of Grey collection. The reason I Instagram my nails is because how hard it is for me to find time to paint my nails. A working mother of two young kids, painting my nails is total luxury – not only I have to find time to paint them with precision, I have to sit around and not do much for an hour to wait for them to dry! TOTAL luxury! I decided to paint my nails this year as a reminder to take care of myself more.

A Wintry Shade

A Wintry Shade

Hope you are having a great week! The weekend is just around the corner :).

 

Not your typical New Years resolution

I really love making New Year’s resolutions, I really do. A new year feels like a new beginning and it is always a great time to reflect and be motivated to make a few changes. But at my age, I’ve gone through the whole realization of ‘the best time to make changes is now, regardless of the time of the year’ and the typical focus on health, fitness feels overdone. Therefore this year I am going to focus on two things that I think will make a significant difference in my well being:image

1) Acceptance

Sounds random right? It is actually a lot bigger than most people think. Allow me to explain.

– For work projects:  accept the way ‘others’ are. There is little I can do to change others (in the short term), so instead of being frustrated by things such as the lack of efficiency, I will work on accepting it and see how to best work with that. Hopefully this goes both ways as I am sure I have my own tendencies that drive people crazy

– For myself: accept where I am in life (career, relationship with others etc).  Stop the useless thoughts of ‘where I should be or could be’ and focus on what I can do with what I’ve got

– For my kids: accept the way they are and spend energy on ‘what is best for their unique personalities’ instead of ‘how to get them to meet my or others expectations/standards’

2) Being present

I don’t mean getting down on the floor to play superheroes and crafts with my kids all the time; I simply want to focus on ‘this moment’ more, whatever it is I am doing.

If I really need to answer work emails, then I will say “give mom 5 minutes of uninterrupted time” and do it with focus, then come back to my kids without thinking about emails and pretending to pay attention to them. When I spend the time with family, I will work on really being with them and try not to let my brain wander back to work, to do list, chores etc…

The other day I was walking in the path of Financial District, and I consciously practiced this – I stopped the chatter in my head about what’s happened in the past and what to do in the future while walking, instead I focused on the moment, and I was quite amused to discover how many interesting things, people you see and hear for a mere 3 minutes walk. The constant thinking in my head was keeping me from living the moment!

Here you have it, my two not so typical New Years resolutions. They require a lot of practice – consciously choosing your thoughts and emotions are not natural. I am determined to do it because I know they will greatly impact my emotional health and other important aspects in life. I will keep you posted on how I am doing throughout the year.

Happy New Year to you all!